Nope, I’ve been back here on planet Joy.  Feet firmly planted in the reality that is my daily life.  I bet many of you were thinking I’d totally abandoned you.  And in a way I did.  Sorry, I’m an honest gal.  I love you all but…. Ya know…. You folks read what I rant but you don’t cook my dinners, vacuum my house, and wipe my kids butt.  (And if you wanted to come do all of the above I would let you… I could even maybe pay you… Do Peanut M&M’s count as currency in the real world outside of my casa?)  When you write a blog like mine there are so many times that life just gets in the way and you just have to put the unicorn readers (mythical creatures I believe in) on a shelf somewhere in your mind and focus on other things.  Life’s been traveling at a whirl wind pace for me and my family the last couple months and its been hard to even catch my breath let alone catch a break to write.  I wake up at the butt crack of dawn with a post idea in my head but then real life hits me and I hit the ground running hoping to catch up.

That’s why I’ve decided the best way to sum up whats been happening since mid June, which was the last time I visited your heads, is in bullet points!  YAY! I can almost feel your excitement traveling through the internets my directions! WHeee!   Don’t cha’ just love bullet points?  They read almost as fast as my brain and feet have been carrying me so hop on!

But don’t worry, I won’t leave you just to a few bullet points to lull over.  I’ve never been accused of being short winded and I have a lot to say about each point and I hope to expand on each of them in the coming days.  So think of each point as not a quick way for me to get back into your good graces and into your daily list of those blogs you can’t live without reading everyday (OK, I lie, please feel free to think of it like that if you want) but as a way to give you exciting trailers.  Like in an upcoming block buster movie. (Because you know my life is THAT exciting!)

• Still trying to sell our house.  Sigh.     Constant cleaning…. Keeping things “show ready”… At all times… With a 2 YEAR OLD IN THE HOUSE!!   Everyday I look at the mess my little tornado baby makes and sigh the sigh of a thousand house fraus, but with an underlying tone of a whimper, because I know there is no way I can just leave that mess till the next day.  Because if I do, that will be when we get the call to show our house. And that will be the call that says, we’re only 30 minutes away… Is that OK?  Snarl, grrr, @%&&$##@…. POOP!   Sure! I say with my most chipper voice.  As I run around like a chicken with my head cut off tossing things into any available hidy hole, where they won’t leave an obvious lump, and where I’ll be guaranteed to forget later and never be able to find them again.  Still can’t find a few really important pieces of mail… so if you didn’t get paid yet its because your bill is sitting somewhere in some cabinet or drawer or box or toy bin… or possibly under the couch cushion.  When I find it I promise I’ll take care of it.
• Still potty training.  Sigh.      I have come to the conclusion that pull-ups are useless and only are diapers that are more complicated to use and more expensive.  I can’t see what lesson they are supposed to teach. They are too thick for my daughter to actually “pull up” on her own.  They are almost impossible for me to pull up on her even.  You NEVER want to pull a really dirty one off, lest you smoosh unmentionable all down your child’s legs…. URP!  So you end up opening it like a diaper anyways, teaching your kid that even though they are supposed to pee sitting upright your obsessive mom will still lay you down to wipe your butt.  I’m currently in between rounds of trying using regular panties but had to stop the first time do to running out of laundry detergent.  Who knew a puddle on the floor could be so comfortable?  And apparently my daughter finds said puddle to be a great addition to her finger paints.  Oh! And I never realized her favorite place to poo was while sitting on the couch watching TV.  Clean up! Isle 9?….. Anyone???  Hello??? Can you hear me????????
• On a brighter note!  (Because they can’t be all messy right?) I was invited by the wonder people at Sea World to take the family to Sea World San Antonio with a great group of Texas Mommy Bloggers called the Wildside!  If you want to read some great tweets from this group search for #wildside or #swsa on Twitter.  I can’t wait to share with you all the fun details on that exciting experience!!!  I won’t ruin it for you but I will say this… My daughter can’t stop saying Shamu!  Comes out more like “Shmoo” but it tickles my heart each time just the same!
• While everyone who’s anyone in the bloggosphere, not really but its fun to say, were at BlogHer 2010 this weekend I was fighting it out on a blistering hot tennis court in Dallas!  Remember a while back I said my woman’s team was going to state to battle for a trip to Nationals!?! Well, we battled and we went all the way to the finals only to lose to another really great team.  Technically you can say our team is the number 2 ranked woman’s tennis team in the state of Texas! We played 5 matches in 3 days.  We only had the minimum amount of players we needed, which was 8, which meant everyone had to play each round so it was exhausting! But it was an amazing experience!  I can’t wait to share more on that one later….  As a teaser I’ll just say, when you get that many competitive woman in one spot, all vying for the same shot to go to Nationals, you can only imagine the fireworks. Can you say drama anyone?
• We got our garage door fixed!!! YAY!  My daughter won’t let us leave the driveway or go into the house without closing the door so she can watch.  She will stop dead in her tracks or scream from the back seat. “Ka-lose it!”  But whats funny is that even though she knows its coming she will still startle and jump when the little motor starts running.  Tis cute!
• Hmmmm… What else?  Its hot as a broken oven in nuclear mode here in central Texas… I’m a hormonal nightmare right now because I ran out of my birth control pills and decided to go off them till my oh so fun gyno appointment in a week since where I’ll be changing them anyway.  Hated them…  So now I’m avoiding my husband.  Can’t tell which is better sometimes…   Debating trying the panty potty training again but hesitating because of the mess.  I just know she will poop on the rug at the same time a realtor will call from my driveway saying “We were just driving by… do you mind?” &$%^*%!!  I have about a thousand photos to process and look at from the last few bullet points and have been avoiding them due to lack of interest and lack of time for sitting in one spot that long.  Besides, its difficult to look at a photo when your kid is jumping on your laptop.  Really…difficult.
• Sigh

So there you have it folks.  My last two months in bullet points. Add to that the constant laundry, the trips to the grocery store, the pool, the library, this direction, that direction, up, down, left, right. All the while melting in the heat.  I’m one step away from that woman in the old Calgon commercials (click link to go back in time!!) except the idea of a hot bath tub is revolting at this point…. “Take me away…”

We’re going to STATE BABY!!

I don’t usually post pictures of myself since I’m the camera shy type, but in this case I’ll make an exception.  It’s not hard to pick me out of the group.  I’m the shortest one on the right with the ear to ear grin.  I don’t think I’m really the shortest gal on our team… OK, it’s highly possible… but it doesn’t help that I was standing next to two glamazons (and I mean that in the beautiful sense) who are a foot taller then me. And even though I might be vertically challenged I make up for it with heart. (And a big serve!–Note the biceps baby!)

Three cheers for our team!  WE DID IT LADIES!!  I’m so proud of everyone!  And that goes for those who were not pictured above as well!!  If it wasn’t for each and every one of you, no matter how big or small of a role you think you played, we wouldn’t be going to these wonderful places with our team without the individual efforts of everyone!  We are a team!  And we are all WINNERS!! And I want to add a special THANK YOU to our team captain, the glamazon on the left in yellow. Without you none of this would have been possible!!  XOXO

That is all.

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The most intimidating creatures on earth…babies

November 19th, 2008

Tonight my group of tennis ladies had an end of season/early Christmas white elephant party since one of our out of town teammates is in town for a couple days.  It’s always so nice to get together with all the ladies.  The wine and margaritas were flowing freely and so was the chatter. When you took a look around the room you saw multiple conversations going on about who knows how many different subjects.  But the amazing thing was there wasn’t one person left in the corner by themselves.  Everyone had someone to talk to and everyone has the same room full of friends so no one was lost in the conversation.  I had to bring my daughter tonight because dear hubby was playing in our club tennis tournament.  She spent the evening being passed around from one lovely lady lap to another and was just the cutest social butterfly ever.  There isn’t a mama out there that is more proud than I am tonight.

As I made my way around the room chatting about everything under the sun I started talking to one of the ladies about having kids.  She’s about my age, married and is starting to consider going down the preggo route.  While I talked to her I saw a lot of my former self in her eyes.  Her doubts and fears were my own not so long ago.  Until I met my dear hubby I had pretty well decided that kids might not be in the cards for me.  I was one of these women who was completely intimidated by these little creatures.  I know, I know, all the women out there that were born to be moms and already had it programed in their DNA to be nurturers are all wondering how in the hell I could be afraid of such a cute little baby.  It’s easy.  They bite, they puke, they poop and pee and do any number of other disgusting things a person in their right mind wouldn’t purposely want to be involved with.  EWEWWWW!!  They cry.  REALLY LOUD!  They don’t let you  have personal conversations if they are in the room. They make your body look like you swallowed a watermelon while you’re pregnant and then like a deflated, flappy, good year blimp after they arrive.  Forget long showers, forget makeup, and simply forget remembering to brush your teeth everyday.  Sleep doesn’t exist.  Your deodorant will be your best friend but forget the perfume.  All it does is make your baby sneeze and get snotty, and it doesn’t cover up the smell of baby puke anyways.  Forget clothes without stains and eating a meal without it getting cold.  I could keep going but since this is a mommy blog and since most of my readers are moms I don’t have to. You know where I’m at right now.  I know all these things aren’t that bad but knowing that all these things come in one very small, very breakable package is SCARY!

These were all the things I had heard about before I ever decided to have a child and my thoughts were NO THANKS!   I’d rather eat toe jam.  Then I met my husband.  The man of my dreams.  He’s so adorable it’s hard not to think of what he looked like when he was baby.  And then I started noticing how great he was with all his nieces.  They LOVE  their uncle.  He makes them laugh and always has something cool for the to play with outside.  You know, because he still a big kid in many ways.  The idea of a little ankle biter started growing on me.  He made it seem like all the icky things I’ve already mentioned might not be so bad.  But first we had to get past the thing that scared me most.  The idea that my child wouldn’t like me.  I have always been the type of person who would make what I thought was a funny face at a child in a checkout line they would start screaming.  I intimidated kids as much as they intimidated me.  What would I do if my own child decided I was scary?  Again, this might seem ridicules to all the experienced, always meant to be a mom, moms but to me it was an honest fear.  But my hubby prevailed and convinced me that it wouldn’t be that bad.  That our own child would love me no matter what, and all the other funky stuff I could deal with too.  He’s a very convincing man.  It’s probably a good thing he’s made a career out of tennis instead of being a con artist. He’s convincing but not very sneaky, and I’m not much into the idea of conjugal visits.

Long story short, we got pregnant.  Had our beautiful little girl.   And do you know what?  She’s not afraid of me!!  And I’m not afraid of her!!  She’s the light of my life and I can’t understand why it took me so long to do this.  I do believe children have a sixth sense about people.  Somewhere during my pregnancy the kids in the checkout lines started not being afraid of me and some even started to smile back.  I think they sensed that I was a mommy (to be) and knew I was now part of that secret society.  It was kinda weird to all of a sudden not be that intimidated person any more.  Now I live in a sea of baby puke, pee, and poop and I wouldn’t trade one minute of it.  Not for all the diamonds in the world or all the ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s.

So to my friend who I was talking to tonight.  Go for it, if your ready to face the challenge. Don’t expect yourself to ever be completely “ready”  because until the screaming beast actually arrives you won’t know the feelings I’m talking about.  That’s comes on his/her birthday.  But what ever you decide to do I support you and you can practice with my little sweet ankle biter any time you want.

Smiles

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Love and Kisses!

Now I know what they say about sweet revenge and that it will eat you up if you let it get out of hand, but in this case I wasn’t the one performing the revenge. I was just watching it happen and was given the opportunity to smile about it. That was enough to spread that warm gooey feeling all over that I’ve needed regarding this subject.

Is it killing you yet that I haven’t spilled the beans about whats so great?

I finally was able to see my new tennis team kick the butts of my old tennis team that screwed me over!  Now ain’t that grand?  Three cheers for me!

I know your thinking that being so happy over a WIN like this is almost insane and I’d have to agree. It also goes against every ounce of sportsmanship I have in my body to be that happy over their demise. However, on this particular occasion I think I’m entitled.  Simply put, this team put me through the ringer about a year ago.  They made me lose my temper.  They made me lose my determination to advance.  They made me lose a good friend.  They made me have to decide between bettering myself as a player at the risk of having to continue on in their unsportsmanlike ways or settling for being second best just so I could keep my dignity. I chose the higher road and settled for being second best so I could maintain the pride in myself that I worked hard to gain.  I decided at the time that no one, and no sport, is worth losing that. And thats where I drew the line.

At that point I did start looking at different avenues to achieve that upward climb and found that there were road blocks a mile high.  And in the world of woman’s tennis sometimes those walls are simply too high to climb without falling off and hurting yourself more. So my outlook was bleak. Then about a month ago an opportunity came up out of the blue.  A team that I thought was so far out of reach for me. A team that was on the top of the A list. A team that I’ve always admired and desired to be a part of but never dreamed possible. A team that to join it someone would practically have to die to create room. A team of winners! They came to me, little ole’ me, and asked if I would join them.  Just like that!

And just like that my first impression of the higher level tennis changed with renewed hope. It gave me hope that I could really be part of this. It gave me hope that I could finally draw on those dormant skills I’ve held back because they weren’t necessary and were rotting away at the lower level I was seemingly going to be swimming in forever. I would now get the opportunity to grow! To bloom! To prove that I’ve got what it takes to be at that higher level and to take my place next to those who have always felt better than me because of a number after their name.

I am now part of a team of woman that after which I’ve tried to model the other teams I’ve lead. They have been the trend setters in my mind when it came to sportsmanship, hard work, and determination to succeed.  And now I get to be a part of that. And with that comes the heavy duty to not let the feelings of sweet revenge take over my perception of things but to use that feeling as a jumping off point to give me strength and the desire to continue to grow.  And with hard work and determination I know I will.  Yes, I still did allow myself a few small giggles of glee when I saw my new team running over my past team like they were old tires!  It was, simply put, the icing on the cake!  And it made my year!

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and then click the option to enter that says I did not trick you into visiting that site.  Because I would never do that! And then BAM, your vote will be counted! Thank you!

Love and Kisses!

Today isn’t my first day of school. Nor is it really the first day of anything new to me.  It is however the first day of a new tennis season for my woman’s tennis team.  Which is a fresh start, with new faces, and clean slate.  And that is always exciting!

For many of you who are new to my site, on and off you hear me complain about the woman’s tennis team that I challenge myself with captaining every season.  I love it.  I’ll just say that now but it does suck up all my time, energy, and brain power for countless days until the new seasons starts.  Organizing, recruiting, organizing practices a couple times a week (just try to get 15 women in the same place at the same time, HA!), signing people up (making sure those who are signing up can navigate the computer sign up process), answering questions about what is expected of the new players, calming the fears of those new teammates, taking in the million e-mails that cross my desktop about who would like to partner with who this season (even though it’s not going to happen that way and even if it did they would end up hating each other-because I’m the captain and I…just…know this will happen), holding the hands of the nervous newbies, and patting the heads of the returning players (or more like kissing their butts).  Its all a process that leads up to this very day.  The first day, the first match, of the very first season of the new year.

This process is what gives me sleepless nights worrying that I have enough players.  Wondering if, even though I technically have enough bodies on the team, will I be able to fill 8 spots each match day?  Filling out spreadsheets full of match days that the ladies can’t play because they have already promised to volunteer at their kids schools to pass out milk or, in some cases, they are jetting off to France last minute for a quick extended weekend. (Yep, that’s happened!)  It’s the pulling out of my hair as I realize that, no I won’t have enough people, and the begging of someone, anyone, to change their plans so the other teammates wont be let down.  It the realization that even with having enough bodies, I will only have 7 for my first match of the season.  That’s one default already of the 5 different matches that will make up our first day.  A default that I feel like my team blames me for in some way even though I know they understand that I have no control over their lives and therefore their schedules.  But it still stings.

Yep, I’m buzzing with excitement this morning, because along with all the team issues I will be going out and playing MY first match of the new season and year today too.  Will this be the season that my rank finally goes up after all these years of waiting? As a captain I’ve sacrificed myself to my team which has caused a large lag in the ranking system.  I have too many matches under my belt which makes it harder to change the average.  In many ways I’ve been left behind as I watch all my friends move up and away in rank. I still see them around but they are in different seasons of their own.  Will I get to join them finally?  Will I finally get to play at the skill level that will challenge me more? But then will I also lose my team that I love and foster each season?

Bitter sweet.

It’s a new day. Time to go tie my shoes.

Lets start with my tennis lately.  Can you say “I’m tired”?  The league season is over which sucks the life out of me.  It’s not the play. That always makes me feel better due to the lovely endorphin factor. It’s the captaining and the social aspect that is sucking my will to function out of me.  You would think tennis would be all fun and athletics but get involved with a club type system and you will also find a social network that is similar to any american high school.  With all the same wonderful social groups like the nerds and wannabes and those that like to kick their asses because they aren’t popular. I’m rather fond of the nerds and wannabes but unfortunately right now I’v been having to suffer a lot of the “mean girls”.  Not that they are being that “mean” to me.  I try my hardest to stay on the outside of all that nonsense and fly under their radars, but just to watch and tolerate it in the name of getting my ass on the court now and then is getting old.  I’m mean REALLY old.  Like some of the wrinkles that get botoxed solid so they don’t flop around on the court old. Nice image right?  But when you see a face zooming across the court trying to get to a ball and she looks like a barbie doll, all shiny and new when she’s 50 years old, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Why these ladies think they are better than anyone else is a mystery to me?  One that I only ponder for short periods of time before I stop myself. I don’t want to get sucked into their stories for fears of their strange ability to take normal people, even some former friends of mine, and turn them into “one of them”.  They are like the Pod People I think except they use their “social status” to gain brains to slurp.

But not mine! Nope! I know better then to let them get to me.  I’m perfectly happy sitting on the sidelines watching the chittery and chatterying about “my husband told me I could do this with this” and “OMG come see my new diamond”.  I don’t need to be involved in it to know it’s ridiculous.  The only reason I’m around these ladies is for the tennis.  Lots of money breeds lots of tennis lessons therefor you can get some good matches out of them. But while they aspire to never age I, in my efforts to not get absorbed by their witchy bitchy ways, will sit back and watch them.  And yes I will laugh when they have their black eyes from surgery. I will laugh when they cry over they fact that their hubbies won’t take them to France for the summer and is insisting on sticking closer to home and wants to spend the summer in the Hamptons. Boo hoo.  That will be me falling over on the sidelines snorting my uncultured snort when you bitch about having to take care of your kids because it’s your nanny’s night off. Yep, that’s me. And that will be me kicking your plastic butts all over the tennis courts.  And that will be me watching to see if your skin really is sweating or are you just pretending to wipe your face because you’ve botoxed your pores into submission.

***Note, to my tennis friends who do read this. You are NOT one of these ladies. Trust me. You’re the normal ones and I love you all the more because you’re normal! Without you I would give up the sport and start playing Scrabble till I died a slow blubbery death.

She cuter when she’s smiling and not snarky because Mommy dared to stick her in her crib.  

Had to toss this one in there.  I looked into my kitchen the other day and saw this.  I know it’s just a stuffed dog and a spoon, but it was just odd looking.  The lone doggy and the spoon.  Is doggy going to fetch the spoon?  Anyways, it was cute and I’m smelly and that’s all I can think about.

Smell ya later!

 We have a deal.  I keep the chatter to a minimum first thing in the morning and he does the same for me when we are going to bed at night.   We have plenty of time to catch up during the waking hours and this just keeps the peace otherwise.  Although, sometimes I’ll admit to enjoying poking the bear in the mornings when I’ll pester him about what he’s doing that day.  A few “so what are going to do then….?”  will drive him batty.   Aww, married life.

Lets see, what else could I do right now while I’m waiting for concrete to dry???  I could go cook my cranky husband a nice breakfast.  I could give myself a pedicure.  I could start the laundry.  I could clean something…anything.  I could go wake my daughter up and feed her. That’s Hubby’s usual AM duty.  I could go through the mail that’s piled up over the last few days.  I could eat something myself.  I could give the dogs a bath.  Boo.  I could relax like the lady of leisure I wish I could be.   I could start working on the invite list to a party I’m having in May.  I could… I could… I could…

Maybe I could  just start with getting out of bed.

What happened to me you might ask?  Nuthen’  I’m a tennis addict!  Or didn’t I mention that before?

So I did enjoy my time out there.  And had a VERY cute moment when Hubs stood EJ up in on the window sill.  She grabbed onto the frame above her head so she was stretched out.  She kinda reminded me of one of the suction cup Garfields.  I also watched my crazy, obsessive compulsive dog stare into one of the bigger bushes in the same bed for 2 hours straight!  She was looking into the bush so intently I started conjuring up images of deadly raccoons or evil squirrels hiding in there waiting to eat my face off the minute I worked to close to it.  But after a bit I saw my dog jump up and try to bite at something.  That’s when I realized that all was safe.  She was stalking a bee or bees that were visiting the buds on the bush.  For 2 hours!!!!  Ya, she’s nuts.  But yeah!!!  Bees!  That means the flowers I planted will get all pretty and pollinated!  

After all that planting I ran off to the tennis courts to play a few sets with my tennis ladies and practice for a “real” match I have on Friday .  Always so much competitive fun.  Although I could barely hit the ball.  Too much time spent bent over in the flower bed.  It’s kinda really bad for a forehand.  But I still had fun and that’s all that matters for this practice.  I’ll just have to avoid doing any hard yard work for the rest of the week so I can play better on Friday.  Bummer, Hubs will have to do the rest.  (hehehe)

Yep folks, I’ve had a nice day yesterday!  Luck of the Irish perhaps?  Either way I hope the feeling lasts.  So heres to beautiful fully, and not half finished, planted flower beds, playing some tennis with the girls, and to not waking up with a green beer hangover.

Smiles!