The wonderful panelists are: Maggie Mason from Mighty Girl; Mindy Roberts from The Mommy Blog; and guest panelist Kierna Mayo from Cafe Mom.

Thank Goddess that someone finally wanted to come out in the open and talk about being happy with their post-baby body.  Including talking about the hush, hush subject of the changes in the landscape “down there”.  Before I became pregnant, the last and final thing that held me back from taking the plunge into motherhood was the question of what it would do to my body.  I was very happy with my body and all of its individual parts before pregnancy.  Don’t get me wrong, by no means did I have the perfect no lump, no bump body but I was healthy and fit and happily curvaceous.  But, as with a lot of curvaceous women, pregnancy can be doubly hard on us since any extra weight just seems to cling like superglue on plastic.  I knew that if I got pregnant I would be in for a fight to get back to where I started from.  But then one day I decided to take the plunge.  My happy existence with just my husband and my parts wasn’t enough and I felt that sacrificing my body to the life of a child would be acceptable.  And now we have our little 9 month old beautiful EJ.  And before I go any further I want to say I wouldn’t trade any lump, bump, or sag in the world for her. 

When your still a “girl” as Mindy Roberts put it, you hear tails of gaining weight when pregnant and then the struggles to lose it.  And you hear the scary stories of that last 15 pounds that never come off.  You read literature that says 30 or so pounds is appropriate for a woman to gain but they never tell you that some woman gain weight just by thinking the about the word pregnant.   They never tell you about the 70 POUNDS you might gain like I did. Yes world, I gained 70 POUNDS  in my efforts to have our healthy daughter.  I want to say that again just to drive the point home.  70 POUNDS!!!  Let me add that it was 70 POUNDS of healthy food weight.  I wasn’t  the one in the fast food drive through everyday.  And I didn’t crave anything bad either.  For me it was red grapes.  It was amazing how many grapes I ate.  I kept thinking my kid was going to come out purple and taste like a fine wine.  I also played tennis all the way up till I was 35 weeks pregnant so it wasn’t like I was holding down the couch either.  I was up and active, getting exercise the whole way through. So, as you can see, all my weight was simply love child weight.  

EJ wasn’t a  large child when she was born, however the doctors thought she was going to be an elephant for as large as I was.  In my 6th month we went and took a tour of the hospital and one of the labor and delivery nurses stopped me as we were strolling around and asked me if I was looking for labor and delivery.  When I told her I was just there for the tour and I was only 6 months along she looked at me with all her years of maternity nursing wisdom and asked me if I was having twins.  When I said no, she then asked me if I was sure I was only 6 months because I was HUGE!!!!  I’ll never forget that.  I mean, that woman has seen so many births and women at the end of their pregnancies to “know” and I was the one that surprised her.  Hello!!  

As you can imagine it’s been a little of a rocky road for my post-baby recovery from 70 EXTRA POUNDS.   Let me say that just one more time… 70 POUNDS!!!  But I’m happy with my progress.  I still have the dreaded 15 pounds that I can’t seem to shake but the rest came off easily enough.  Still eating healthy and playing as much tennis as a new baby will allow.  I even had one older lady tell me that I was losing weight too fast.  I haven’t been doing anything special to try to lose it but when she told me that, I couldn’t help but laugh.  I just loved the irony since, in today’s world where woman are faced with the idea that they have to have their bodies back to pre-baby scale the day after their kids are born, I get the one woman who tells me I’m losing weight too fast.  You would laugh too. I wish I can say that it was due to my discipline or hard work but in reality I think my body is just returning to what will be it’s new “normal”.  What that will end up being I don’t know.  I’m not hindering it in anyway by loading up on junk food but I’m certainly not helping it by living off lettuce alone.  

The other subject that is rarely talked about and even I will keep it to a minimum (I don’t want to make my parents blush too much when they read this) is what happens “down there” after pregnancy.  Yes, the geography all changes folks.  I could repeat the famous “well, you try to squeeze a watermelon…” but I won’t go there.  We have all heard the different takes on that one.  But I will say this to those… um “visitors” to the nether regions. You will never, ever, ever get it, unless you’ve visited the watermelon idea yourself, but please just believe us when we say with only half hearted voices, “Um ya honey, that feels…um…ok.” It’s not because we don’t love you.  It’s just because we don’t recognize or own va-ja-ja’s anymore.  Ok?  Do you need more information on that?  

Aaahemm, moving on.  Can I say I’m happy with my post-baby body.  You betcha!  Am I still in shock as to what’s happened to it?  Yes, I won’t deny it.  I think the thing that surprises me most is how things aren’t where they used to be.  I’m fitting easily back in to my pre-pre pregnancy jeans but I’m still carrying 15 extra pounds??? Huh?  All I can say is it’s because it’s all traveled to different areas of my body.  Those areas that used to not contain much lumpage are now lumpy.  It’s almost been interesting in some ways to see what changes have happened.   I’ll be honest and say it’s easier to go out in public with my extra lumps if I have my child with me.  I have an excuse then.  But do I feel ashamed.  Hell no! Will I do it again!  Definitely! Will it be any time soon?  No, we aren’t planning on planting anymore watermelon seeds anytime soon.

Sister, get out your paint brushes!!

Check it out!   PAINTED BELLYS!

If you were going to decorate your big pregnant bellys what would you do?  I’d paint a giant watermelon with a smily face and stick on bejeweled stickers for bling earrings.

Lets hear it everyone!  Click on comments below and share your artistic or weird opinions.  How would you paint your belly? I’ve tried to make it easier for you to share comments this time.  Just be nice or not.  But if your wanting to tell me off just e-mail me directly.  :-)

Love to all!

First check out this weeks Momversation.  Then I’ll share my opinions on this heavy topic.

This weeks panelists: Heather Armstrong from Dooce; Rebecca Woolf from Girls Gone Child; Karen Walrond from Chookooloonks.com

 All the panelist brought up some really valid opinions on this topic.  One of my favorites given by Heather was what would the other families out with triplets and more from IVF have to say about this?  They are the ones living this life and they are the only ones who are really qualified to give their opinions without shame in public.   Last night I was reading some of the comments on Dooce and decided to voice my own ideas.  Here is my comment on that.

I live in a city that has been following the news story of parents that just had quints.  The proud parents of the 5 babies are acquaintances of my husband’s.  They already had one daughter because of the blessings of modern science and now they have 5 more.  Do they plan on having more?  Absolutely not.  Are they scared out of their minds?  You’d better believe it!  They are the kind of couple that people question all the time in these kind of debates.  They had a successful birth of one daughter and decided to try for another baby and got 5.  Did they start out with a plan to try to have 5 kids?  Um, no!  When faced with the tough choices, they weren’t able to make the decision to let one go for the sake of the others.  To them these 5 babies were a blessing from God and to ask them to decide what to do was a decision they couldn’t make.  Now they are the proud parents of 6 children.  Would they do it again hoping for the same results?  Nope.  But will they forever be happy with what they have?  Yes! 

I know talking about a family of 6 Vs. a family of 14 to a single parent is a jump but in some ways they were in the same boat.  I can’t judge anyone’s decision on how and how many children to bring into this world.   And if you’re going to go down the road of letting science help you along who are we to judge a parent’s desire to see all their children survive?  Would I take the risk of having multiples to be able to have just one more baby?  I would in a heart beat.   Would I be able to deny life to one of my unborn children???  I can’t answer that.  Can you?

While Nadya’s choices have put her in a position to be ridiculed does this mean her kids have to suffer too?  Too many times we support those who make mistakes and stupid choices.  For example free clinics for HIV and AIDS victims.  While not all HIV/AIDS victims are at fault for their disease a lot are.  They could have put that condom on or not used that dirty needle.  But we still help and support the clinics with tax payer’s money and barely bat an eyelash at it.  We grumble as we write our checks but we don’t throw rocks at the doors of the clinics.  We, as a country, need to remember that while her choices for having so many kids that are going to need to be supported by our taxes suck, there are still 14 kids out there that need to live their lives.  I think we all need to just move on to another subject and butt out of her private life.  Even if she’s the one wanting the publicity, for her kids sake, we should just all back off and let them live in peace.

I’m also acquainted with a couple that had triplets due to IVF.  They had one shot at pregnancy due to endometriosis.  They were the happiest couple on earth when they found out that their one chance to have one baby turned into a family of 5.  Mistake with the modern medicine?  You decide. 

So that’s what I wrote last night, and of course I was up all night thinking about it, and I’ve had some more thoughts on this subject.  Shocker right?  I won’t bore you with the long string of things that float through my head at night but I  will share these.  I want to say thanks again to the Momversation panelists who brought up this important topic because along with “Octo-mom’s” story there is another one brewing underneath.  Reproductive rights.  I’m sure she wasn’t thinking about this when she went in for treatments so it’s kinda hard to bash her for it but she has put a pretty nasty light on the practices of IVF and assisted pregnancies.   Which will now give  lawmakers another reason to poke into women’s reproductive health.  Oh, goodie! For that one I think I’d like to toss a nice big juicy tomato at you Nadya.  So boo to you for that one my dear, however I’m sure you didn’t mean it.  

My last thought is, now that these children are here, because they are so deal with it,  and now that “Octo-mom” has made a name for herself she’s going to have money rolling in from the media and book deals or whatnot.  I don’t think she went in for IVF so she could have 8 babies so she could make national headlines and make some money from her story.  But I do think it probably crossed her mind once she found out she was having this 8-pack.  She may have just found her way to support all these kids.   I’ve never doubted that she has enough love to give her HUGE family and now she may just have enough money too.  Will she pay the tax-payers back for all the medical expenses?  No.   Could it be possible for her to survive and give her kids great lives in a loving environment?  I do believe so.

And for all those out there that still can’t open your hearts and minds up don’t worry, I’m sure Child Protective Services will be watching her like a hawk since they are in the limelight on this one too.  But my bets are on Nadya. She may just be smarter then we take her to be.  We shall see…

Right now the only ladies I know that have babies either live a little too far away for me to see frequently or really aren’t that close in other ways other than distance.  And none of them have babies the same age as mine.  So it was a shock to my system to walk into this little room and see so many little cutie pies in the same age range.  There were small ones and chubby ones, crawling everywhere like little ants.  Now I know where the term “ankle biters” came from.  One lady’s baby was the same age as mine but was so big he could be a linebacker for the NFL.  He was HUGE but with the most gentlemanly face and deep thoughtful eyes.  I want him to be my daughter’s boyfriend.  He was the first baby EJ flirted with before she became fickle and moved on.

 Of course, we were a couple minutes late so we didn’t sit in the “inner circle” of ladies and babies. (Story of my life and that’s ok because I usually like the air better at the back of the room) I sat just behind the main group and EJ sat on my lap with death grips on my fingers.  This was a new experience for her too.  I know what she was thinking.  ”OH…MY…GOD!!!!  I’m not the only one!!!  BUT MOMMY SAID I WAS THE BESTEST, MOST PERFECT, BABY EVER!!!!!  She LIED!!!!!!”  No not really.  But she was a little shy at first.  Which was a personality that I’ve never seen her use.  I’ve seen “happy baby”.  I’ve seen “mad baby”.  ”Sad baby.” “Pissed baby.” “Exasperated baby.”  ”Dictator baby.”  Then there’s the look she gives me all the time when she thinks I’m being a dork.  She’s usually the most out going little girl and has no problem cruising around in other rooms at home where she can’t see me at all times.  She’s bravest little person I’ve ever known.   I’m always so proud of her when I go into public and she spends the whole time smiling at EVERYONE.  Very rarely does she just stare at someone with that “stare”.  You know the one I mean.  The one that says “I’m thinking you’re a baby eater”.  

But that’s not how she was when she entered this room. EJ was simply shy.  It took her about 10 minutes to decide that all was well, that there were no “baby eaters” in the room. Then she wanted to go see what was going on in the next lap over which was where the “Linebacker” baby was hanging out.  She went over and said “Hi”. They even patted each other hands.  But then my little girl opened her social butterfly wings and started to flit around the room and left her boyfriend in the dust.  

As with all the other moms, I went crawling after her.  **Warning to all the moms at the next story time** I’m not chasing her around again.  She’s trapped in a room with all the other cuties. There is no reason for me to break knee caps to keep up with her.  If she crawls in your lap, deal with it.  This does not make me a bad mommy, just realistic.  She came over to say hi to you, I didn’t, so be nice and pat my child on her head.  She will get distracted and find someone else to flirt with in a minute and will leave you alone.   Also, if she is eating Cherrios, I will be allowing her pick the ones she drops on the floor up so she can eat them. Don’t take them away from her on fear that she will scream so loud someone will think there is a fire and will hit the fire alarm.  If you just go with my flow we will all be fine. 

I’l admit I had a nice time too.  Chatting with other mom’s who are living my life right now, or various forms of it.  But of course “it” had to happen. Some of you may or may not believe this is possible for a kind loving mother to be so critical, but I was asked blatantly if I was breast feeding by one mom, whom hadn’t even bothered to ask my name first, and who gave me that “look” when I said “nope”.  I mention this thinking about the Momversation that was about breast feeding fanatics.  What’s up with the questions lady?  Does it matter?  Does it tell you something about my character or how much I love my child?  Stay out of my bra!

Anyways, EJ had fun and that was the main goal of this trip today.  The “Linebacker’s” mommy and I had a nice time chatting.  She was new to the room too and didn’t know the songs any better than I did.  But we fudged it just fine.  I do hope I get to see her again.  As for the “are you breast feeding mom” I hope your breast-pads fail next time your in public and you leak all over your favorite dry clean only shirt.   Aside from that, I will be going back frequently since it seemed like a great place to give my daughter a little baby time and it gave me a chance to see that my kid was normal.  However, I must boast that she was still the prettiest baby in the room.  And the smartest.  And the fastest crawler…..

Today’s topic about being child free by choice was interesting to me since I used to be of a like mind, although not so cynical.  I didn’t feel that I should get maternity leave like my co-worker or I should be receiving tax breaks since I was raising a dog and not a baby.  But I did feel like I was not one of those that was supposed to reproduce.  Not only was I bad with babies (I made them all cry without fail) I wasn’t that interested in giving up my lifestyle.  Whether it was going out balls to the wall at a nightclub or staying home and holding down my couch, my life was just too interesting for a baby to complicate things. I was the queen of birth control! And then one day the bottom fell out of my world and I gave up the fight. I had no choice.  Check out the Momversation and then I’ll tell you what happened to make my life and mind change so drastically. 

This episode’s panelists are: Heather Armstrong from Dooce; Dana Loesch from Mamalogues; and Rebecca Woolf from Girls Gone Child.

Ok, the rest of my story.  

I was living the child free by choice lifestyle up until the magical day when my body and brain rebelled.  I was that care free person choosing to work at a restaurant because the hours fit my world better vs. the consistent paycheck of a career that I could have killed myself in school for.  I didn’t have kids to support so why not!  Then one day when I was 29 I met my now husband.  Before he came along, and even after we had been dating for a long time, I still felt strong in my convictions about not wanting kids.  The most annoying thing I experienced, other than my mom and dad bugging me about it, was when other parents would almost force their kids on me to “show me how great they are”.  HELLO!!  Instant birth control!!

But then one day something happened to me.  I’ve never been able to explain it.  When you’re a young girl, at least from what I’ve read, when your in your late teens and early 20′s is when this biological urge kicks in and your body starts telling you that you must reproduce.  (Picture a zombi walking around, arms thrust forward, repeating over and over “must spawn”.) Well, I never had that urge.  There were actually times that I thought my biological clock was broken.  But I didn’t mind since I had made that choice that I would never have children.  Then one day I woke up and the idea didn’t seem as foreign to me.  Next thing I know I’m talking to my now husband about it.  Of course he thought I was nuts going back and forth on my feelings but luckily he would have married me either way, child bearing or childless.  But my biological clock had become IMPOSSIBLE to ignore!  It was like a time bomb went off in my head.  I HAD to have a baby!!!  So we did.  Just like that.  Blink, blink, baby!  And after the first initial poopy diaper in the hospital with my mom telling me how to change it, I now feel that my life is complete.  Well, until that urge hits me again.  Damn, babies are just too cute when they are squishy.

While I respect the childless by choice people for their right to not change dirty diapers, you can’t fight biology.  For as much as my brain told me not to my body refused to listen.  If you are able to fight the urges off and your intentions and attitudes towards the child bearing are respectful, good for you and I respect your decision, but if you think that my choice to have a child is a drain on society then I might just have to say that maybe the world is better off without your cynical genes in it.

Join the Momversation!  

This weeks panelists: Alice Bradley from Finslippy; Glyen Kim from Bacon Is My Enemy; and Mindy Roberts from The Mommy Blog

Join the Momversation! 

This weeks panelists: Dana Loesch from Mamalogues; Maggie Mason from Mighty Girl; and  Rebecca Woolf from Girl’s Gone Child

I have a thought to ponder for everyone.  When you’re in the hospital, after giving birth, you have the lactation consultants breathing down your door, when you’re supposed to be resting, drilling home the benefits of breast feeding. But when you’re sent home you are given a cute little diaper bag filled with samples of Similac formula.  Talk about your mixed messages!!!  What are your thoughts?