Enjoy!

For more of MY Wordless/ful Wednesday go HERE!

Because you know you can’t get enough!!

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If you have a potty training kiddo or just small tots please take a moment to enter my drawing for an On-The-Go Inflatable Potty Seat!  These things are adorable, for a potty seat, and easy to use and clean!  Contest ends April 30th. 4 winners will be drawn!!! Click here for more details!

Hugs and Kisses and Happy Wednesday!

But people please!  If you pick it…don’t flick it!

For those who don’t know what I mean, its where someone is digging for gold nuggets in their nostrils and come up with a gob of fools gold of which isn’t worthy of keeping so they choose to flick it in the general direction of the floor. The same floor that I might have to walk on and the same floor that I probably will drop something on because I have all the grace of a drunken monkey in a vat of whiskey.  And the same floor that my kid might just fall face first on. (Another gene passed on I’m afraid.)

Do I need to go on as to how disgusting that could be?  Because, really I could. I could go on and tell you about all the wonderful viruses that live in the noses of healthy people but spread with mucus and could make someone else very sick. But I shouldn’t have to.  You’re a grown up right? At least the person is who I watched with their finger jammed up to their knuckle who decided to flick their findings on the floor right in front of me.   I know you’re out there.  And in all probability you’re not reading this.  But I hope beyond all hope that your wife is.

Also, after you dig for your gold, hopefully with tissue in hand to contain your finding,  will you please not touch anything else with your contaminated hand?  Because that’s just nasty.  Think about it…..The next time a perfect stranger sneezes in front of you why don’t you just block their snot rockets with your own hand. Then slap yourself with it.

Mmm, K?

Thanks!

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Hugs and Kisses!

My first rant for this first inaugural Murky Monday is a piece off a list I’ve been compiling for a while called My Top 10 Things That Irritate Me.  When I started putting this list together I first off realized that I had a lot more than 10 things that irk me, and if I tried to post them all in one post you as a reader would be forced to take a nap after number 7.  So what better time and place then now to share a chunk of my irritation?

Woman who stare at me like I’m doing something wrong when I’m changing my daughter’s diaper in public bathrooms.  Ladies!! That’s why there is a changing table!! For changing diapers!! And it’s not like I’m taking my daughter to places where you wouldn’t exactly find children so why the shocked faces at seeing my daughters naked too too?  And also please take the stick out of your butts when said establishments choose to put the changing station in the handicapped stalls.  Just because you want a little extra space to umm…turn around in, and I can’t blame you, but that doesn’t give you the right to stand there and give me dirty looks as I take my sweet time.  Wiping a dirty kids ass takes a healthy dose of concentration just like it can take a lot of wipes.  And the longer you stare the longer it’s going to take.  My kiddo doesn’t mind if I sing the alphabet to her again.  Do you?

OK, so maybe I can’t take the funny out of everything I write and why should I? Irritations can be funny too if taken from a different perspective.

So its official! Mondays are now Murky Mondays where you can almost see the funny through the haze of crap that covers it up. Join me each week for a little ranting! And if you’d like to get something off your chest please feel free to write it up as your own Murky Monday and leave your link here or just vent it here in the comment section. We all need to get things off our minds so why not support each other?

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Mmmm, hoho’s!

B.C.

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And here we have another look into the origins of the Redneck dictionary.

Soup To Nutz

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Probably the best advice I’ve seen yet!

Dog eat Doug

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You know that’s what they do when we’re not looking. They just like to trick us into thinking they are helpless so we feed them. Sneeky little twerps.

*Thanks to Comics.com for making all these great comic strips available to the public for the world to love!

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Hugs and Kisses!

And then I slap myself silly and thank God/dess that there is only one EJ!

For more of MY Wordless/ful Wednesday go HERE!

Because you know you can’t get enough!!

For a more Wordless Wednesday go to 5 Minutes For Mom or Wordless Wednesday.com

And if you’re a fan of my Wordless/ful Wednesdaysplease show your love by letting Twitter know! It would be greatly appreciated and will bring you good Karma!!

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Please take moment to vote for me and tell me you think I’m a top mommy blogger! Now THAT would really be the icing on the cake!All you need to do is click the <–-sparkly buttonand then click the option to enter that says I did not trick you into visiting that site. Because I would never do that! And then BAM, your vote will be counted! Thank you!

Love and Kisses!

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And this would be the cartoon image of my child at night. SMACK! “And now we have the midnight rendition of Twinkle Twinkle to dream by.” SMACK! “Lets rock out to Baby Bach! Yeee-owser!” SMACK!! Daddy finally had to rig up her crib music player so we could plug it in instead of using batteries. We were using up her college fund on C’s.

Grand Avenue

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Need I comment further. No? Ok. Nuf said.

Soup To Nutz

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Hee hee hee. He said “lady parts”.

B.C.

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No really. After you’re done snorting your morning coffee out your nose and wiping up the tears think about this one a little bit.  Bluegrass? Smurf picnic? Now, one could really imagine a bunch of little blue Smurfs having a picnic in the grass and all of them running in terror because of the big bad mower heading their way.  Or one could think of the little blue Smurfs as a picnic lunch for your lawn eating mower. (Lets just call it desert) But what popped into my mind right away was more of a red flag. “Beware of the Bluegrass! You might start seeing Smurfs.

*Thanks to Comics.com for making all these great comic strips available to the public for the world to love!

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Hugs and Kisses!

But then there are the other days.  The ones where I’m lucky if I feel brave enough to get out of bed. The days where I feel like if I look at my daughter or my husband I’m going to scream. The days where I feel like I could just go completely insane.  Days where I’m bored out of my mind with my life wondering where mine went.  Days where I wake up wishing I had somewhere to go something to do and someone else besides a kid to do it with.  Those are the days where I make up something I need to do.  An errand I need to run just to escape the entrapment I feel in my own home.  When does a home become a prison? When does my own sense of humor and use of it as a denial tactic become more than just a way to deal with my life and becomes more of burden?  I’ve found that here, that’s for sure.  I use my humor as a way to hide what is really going on in my head sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong. I loves me some funny!  I wouldn’t promote the funny if I didn’t.  I love giving the world and what few readers I have a snicker for the day.  There’s a pride in that that I will never get tired of and will never stop doing.  If making one person snort coffee out their nose is all I get to accomplish when I wake up then I’ve done my job.  But that doesn’t mean that I’ve let out the primal scream that I feel welling in my heart. It’s still there ready to swallow me. But how do I do that without turning this website into something it’s not?  A place where I complain about rather then celebrate my day to day life.  Where do I, the mom who blogs, vent? Where do you let it all hang out? Sure I can go knock the fuzz of a tennis ball to let off some steam.  Or I can make a few snarky comments on Twitter about the irritating things people do.  But lets face it 140 characters do not a true bitch session make. I know, I know… get a friend. That’s what my husband would tell me.  And I have friends.  With their own problems and own complications of which I choose not to complicate further. And again, when I’m sitting in front of someone I’d much rather make them smile and laugh then frown and look unhappy because I’m unloading all my shadows.

So back to my original question, should I truly open up to you, my bloggy friends?  Mythical unicorns whom I trust are out there but I can never see? Do I take the humor down a notch and bring up the reality? I’m seeing some changes happeing but I’m not sure what they are yet.  I’m not sure how much to unveil myself or how much you want to see. I guess, as all things do, time will tell me where that fine line is between sharing and dumping. And I guess all I can hope for is that you all hang on because it might be a bumpy ride.

For now though lets keep some of the funny shall we?  In all my ponderings I promise I’ll never take that away from you.  How else would I stay Mommy’s Joy? Joy is happy! Even when she’ in a funk.

I’ll find my way… Until then… lets all just eat some cake…

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Love and Kisses!

see more Epic Fails

Sorry…. this is all I’ve got today! But you still love me right? If so then please show your love and vote for me!  Right sidebar <——— Under “Love My Site? Vote for me!”.  You can click one or you can click on them all because you love me that much.  Or at least like me.  Or take pity on me.  What evs! I’ll take all the votes I can get!

Love to all the smiling people today!

The most intimidating creatures on earth…babies

November 19th, 2008

Tonight my group of tennis ladies had an end of season/early Christmas white elephant party since one of our out of town teammates is in town for a couple days.  It’s always so nice to get together with all the ladies.  The wine and margaritas were flowing freely and so was the chatter. When you took a look around the room you saw multiple conversations going on about who knows how many different subjects.  But the amazing thing was there wasn’t one person left in the corner by themselves.  Everyone had someone to talk to and everyone has the same room full of friends so no one was lost in the conversation.  I had to bring my daughter tonight because dear hubby was playing in our club tennis tournament.  She spent the evening being passed around from one lovely lady lap to another and was just the cutest social butterfly ever.  There isn’t a mama out there that is more proud than I am tonight.

As I made my way around the room chatting about everything under the sun I started talking to one of the ladies about having kids.  She’s about my age, married and is starting to consider going down the preggo route.  While I talked to her I saw a lot of my former self in her eyes.  Her doubts and fears were my own not so long ago.  Until I met my dear hubby I had pretty well decided that kids might not be in the cards for me.  I was one of these women who was completely intimidated by these little creatures.  I know, I know, all the women out there that were born to be moms and already had it programed in their DNA to be nurturers are all wondering how in the hell I could be afraid of such a cute little baby.  It’s easy.  They bite, they puke, they poop and pee and do any number of other disgusting things a person in their right mind wouldn’t purposely want to be involved with.  EWEWWWW!!  They cry.  REALLY LOUD!  They don’t let you  have personal conversations if they are in the room. They make your body look like you swallowed a watermelon while you’re pregnant and then like a deflated, flappy, good year blimp after they arrive.  Forget long showers, forget makeup, and simply forget remembering to brush your teeth everyday.  Sleep doesn’t exist.  Your deodorant will be your best friend but forget the perfume.  All it does is make your baby sneeze and get snotty, and it doesn’t cover up the smell of baby puke anyways.  Forget clothes without stains and eating a meal without it getting cold.  I could keep going but since this is a mommy blog and since most of my readers are moms I don’t have to. You know where I’m at right now.  I know all these things aren’t that bad but knowing that all these things come in one very small, very breakable package is SCARY!

These were all the things I had heard about before I ever decided to have a child and my thoughts were NO THANKS!   I’d rather eat toe jam.  Then I met my husband.  The man of my dreams.  He’s so adorable it’s hard not to think of what he looked like when he was baby.  And then I started noticing how great he was with all his nieces.  They LOVE  their uncle.  He makes them laugh and always has something cool for the to play with outside.  You know, because he still a big kid in many ways.  The idea of a little ankle biter started growing on me.  He made it seem like all the icky things I’ve already mentioned might not be so bad.  But first we had to get past the thing that scared me most.  The idea that my child wouldn’t like me.  I have always been the type of person who would make what I thought was a funny face at a child in a checkout line they would start screaming.  I intimidated kids as much as they intimidated me.  What would I do if my own child decided I was scary?  Again, this might seem ridicules to all the experienced, always meant to be a mom, moms but to me it was an honest fear.  But my hubby prevailed and convinced me that it wouldn’t be that bad.  That our own child would love me no matter what, and all the other funky stuff I could deal with too.  He’s a very convincing man.  It’s probably a good thing he’s made a career out of tennis instead of being a con artist. He’s convincing but not very sneaky, and I’m not much into the idea of conjugal visits.

Long story short, we got pregnant.  Had our beautiful little girl.   And do you know what?  She’s not afraid of me!!  And I’m not afraid of her!!  She’s the light of my life and I can’t understand why it took me so long to do this.  I do believe children have a sixth sense about people.  Somewhere during my pregnancy the kids in the checkout lines started not being afraid of me and some even started to smile back.  I think they sensed that I was a mommy (to be) and knew I was now part of that secret society.  It was kinda weird to all of a sudden not be that intimidated person any more.  Now I live in a sea of baby puke, pee, and poop and I wouldn’t trade one minute of it.  Not for all the diamonds in the world or all the ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s.

So to my friend who I was talking to tonight.  Go for it, if your ready to face the challenge. Don’t expect yourself to ever be completely “ready”  because until the screaming beast actually arrives you won’t know the feelings I’m talking about.  That’s comes on his/her birthday.  But what ever you decide to do I support you and you can practice with my little sweet ankle biter any time you want.

Smiles

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Love and Kisses!

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And you all thought I was nuts talking about Tornado Baby all that time!

Speed Bump

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All that’s missing here is the halo that is being held up by the horns.

Daddy’s Home

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I think I had this same conversation with my husband except he said he wanted to get ME one. Um, good try honey. I’ll remember that next time I want a girls week in Vegas. It’s really a trip for you sweetie pie. You get some great alone time with our manic depressive 2 year old and I get to revolutionize myself.

Arlo & Janis

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We all know how this feels. You get a great new toy for our kid, or for mommy, and after you’ve bent your scissors, sliced open your hand, and made sure your dentist had enough income that year to retire, you feel like giving up. But then after one more giant tug your manage to give birth to your new toy. It’s scratched up, your hand looks like it met an evil cat, and you’re sweating and swearing like a sailor. Oh sweet victory over the box!

*Thanks to Comics.com for making all these great comic strips available to the public for the world to love!

Shameless Plug:

If you enjoyed this please click HERE to give Mommy’s Joy some love onTwitter! Or click one of the other lovely links below to ship my words off to the awaiting masses!

One more Shameless Plug:

Please take moment to vote for me and tell me you think I’m a Top Mommy Blogger! Just click on the pretty link to have your vote counted.

You can do this once daily if you’re really feeling the love!

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Hugs and Kisses!