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Diet Dribble-Day 3

Well, so far so good.  The hubby and I are on day three of our new diet and hanging in there.   We are still upright and haven’t killed each other over a scrap of chocolate… yet.  And EJ is benefiting because she gets to eat all the crap we can’t which makes for one happy 2 year old.  Little does she know that when the junk food runs out she’s eating broccoli.

Bwaaaha-ha-ha!!!

We decided to use the South Beach Plan since it was recommend by hubby’s doctor as the best one to handle all the reasons we are on this diet to begin with.  And it’s not so bad.  It’s not a cheeseburger, but it’s not bad.  At least I’m not starving which is a BIG bonus that I’ve hated about every other diet out there.  I like their meal plan where it says to start with the serving suggested and then after you’re done feel free to go back for seconds.  Now that’s my idea of a diet!  I can pretty well eat as many veggies as I’d like in a meal as long as I stay away from the ones that have the evil carbs in them.  But so far I haven’t really felt the need to snack out side of the mandatory snacks. (Another happy bonus…”mandatory” snacks!) And I’ve been full after eating the portion recommended surprisingly.

And so far hubby’s been pretty happy with things or at least is remaining upbeat about not getting to have his evening ice cream.  Aside from a little squabble between us where I had to convince him that he would not die if he ate chicken for lunch AND for dinner because I’m a busy house mom and NOT a cook to order restaurant chef, we are doing ok.  As far as I know he’s sticking to it when I’m not around, and when I am, I’m portioning out everything so he doesn’t have to think about it.  And so far we’ve both dropped weight!!  In just 3 days!  That’s the coolest part!  The South Beach Plan does say that you will drop weight fast in the first two weeks and then it will slow down a bit as we add some healthy carbs and fat back into our meals.  And I think I’ll be ok with that.  As long as we stick with it.  I’m pretty sure I can but I’m hoping my husbands old habits don’t come back when we can eat a larger list of foods.  And I refuse to be the food police slapping bites out of his hand, so he’s going to have to resist on his own.

The only thing it seems the diet leaves out of its plan is considering that some people who should diet actually play competitive sports versus the mild exercising that its urging people get.  Yes, sometimes plumper people still carry their weight, ba da bump, in competitive sports and its almost harder to lose weight for us since we also need to eat to compete. So the hubby and I have had to both plan a little bit of extra carb intake just to survive on the tennis court and not get woozy.  My carb of choice was a small baggy of Cherrios nibbled on through out the match, so I’m not exactly gut busting out there.  We just know we need to have a little extra energy to burn so we don’t pass out on the court.  After talking to some other tennis folks who have done this diet and talking to one man who actually did pass out on the court, we decided to opt for safety instead of risk when it comes to that.  So if that’s a cheat we cheated on our diets but I’m thinking spending 2 solid hours running back and forth on a court excuses me the excess.

So thats it! I know, so exciting!  I could be a walking, blogging ad for South Beach so I won’t bore you with more details. This time at least.  But to make up for the diet dribble here’s a cute photo of a past trip to the beach.  Next time maybe it will be me in the picture showing off my cute beach body!

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Diets Suck- There, I Said It!

This just in at the Mommy’s Joy castle. We are going on a diet! Yippee freaking skippy! Those who’ve known me since I was a pip squeak have always known me to fluctuate back and forth between a regular good old American diet of steak and potatoes to an annoying habit (to my meat eating family that is) of being a vegetarian. Or my version of the vegetarian. By the way, before the question arrises, my tip toeing into vegetarianism has not been out of principal but more from a random aversion to meat. I wouldn’t even call it full on vegetarian since I would still eat things that may have a meat base. Oh, and I’ve never given up bacon, because its BACON!!! Can’t give up that or I’d lose my sister card. (I come from a long line of Baconaters.) And of course with this fluctuation of diets I’ve also had a fluctuation of too skinny for my frame and just a little too much in the trunk. Ah yes. Those were the days. I remember looking at my size 4 jeans (the smallest I could ever squeeze my “not meant for size 4 hips into), while I was currently in a meat eating phase and wearing a size 9, and feeling fat and blobish. Sigh. I miss those days…..

Why you ask? Why would I miss the days of regretting my size 9 jeans? Because since that time in my life I’ve had two husbands, a baby, and a mortgage. And thats a lot of yo yo’s for a woman’s body to deal with. I now find myself at a comfortable size ** (Like I would tell the world that number! Again, proud card holder in the sisterhood!) and I’m rather happy with myself. Sure I’ve got junk in the trunk, but I’ve earned it! And I’ve got the baby hips to prove it. I’m as healthy as an ox, I still play tennis all the time, and am considered one of the fasted on the court amongst my teammates. I’m not gaining weight, nor losing it, but not trying to lose it either. I’m also looking forward to having another baby and the idea of dieting and trying to slim down, only to pack it back on to feed another succubus, is not an enticing one.

So why am I dieting you ask? Because I have to. Or more like WE have to. Let me be more specific. Because my husband has to diet, I have to diet. YAY fun for me! That’s one of the things they don’t warn you about in the Till Death Do You Part Handbook. Just like how they don’t warn you about walking into the bathroom behind your husband or the man cold. You just have to learn to read the signs and learn to adapt. They don’t tell you that when your husband has to start eating better you will be forced to leave the things out of your diet you like just for the sake of his. Even when those bad things he loves to eat on a regular daily basis, but are not something I eat very often however do enjoy on occasion, have to be cut. He has the sweet tooth in the family. Me? Not so much. But now when I get the hankering for brownies or cookies I can’t just whip up a batch and delve into the happy chocolaty world of indulgence because he might be “forced to eat one” (his words). And that just stinks!

So what do you do when your loved one has to change the way he/she eats? How do you support that endeavor and still be able to enjoy things that you love? Is it selfish to even say that? I know it will only benefit me to eat better. Of course it would. I’m not crazy enough to think that I don’t have to watch what I eat, but we are talking some simple staple items here that I may have to give up? Like white rice!!! I like white rice. I know I can live without it in my weekly meal plan, if that was the only thing that needed to change. But when you start adding together all the things that need to change or be cut then it can be considered a lot. And a lot is no fun at all.

I’ve always found the will power to lose a few pounds when I’ve been unhappy with myself. But how do you find the will to change when you’re actually happy with your body the way it is? That’s the tough one. I would go to the moon and back for my husband and my child, and I will attack this problem with gusto for the sake of my family. I am not selfish and would eat cardboard for every meal if I had to for them. But if I have to do this I will be demanding a little payback in return. Hmmm. But what? When I figure it out I’ll let you know. But for now that doesn’t mean I won’t complain about it to you a little bit. And sneak cookies now and then. And cake.

Damn it!

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Unholy Shamrocks!

*WARNING* This post is about poop. It is a mommy blog after all.

I’ve have now crossed another Mommy Milestone and, unfortunately for you, I have to share it with everyone! Have you ever watched your child consume massive amounts of sugary substances at a party or gathering and wondered ,with dread, how it would present itself later? Because you know… what goes in…must come out. I have crossed that line. Or more like, my daughter has crossed a line that I believe no parent should ever have to tip toe over.

Not that I’m in the habit of sharing such personal information with you, nor do I ever really want to again, but I can’t resist sharing with you “The End Results!” (Imagine this line being said in a deep, thundering, dramatic voice.) Because “The End Results” had me twisting in agony, and intermittently laughing my head off all while gagging. And “The End Results” had my daughter twisting herself into a pretzil so she could see what was so funny at her other end.

Have I given you enough details yet to make you curious enough to be willing to see what I have to share with you?

Well, hold your proverbal breath ya’ll cuz I’ve got a treat for you!

Apparently when you feed your offspring enough of this…

Then they will eventully give you this…

Yes indeed. My child did shit shamrocks.

Did you really think I’d give you a clear shot of the unfortunate diaper gift? I’m not that cruel.
I mean really, do I need to elaborate further? Are you signifigantly grosed out while simutainiously laughing your asses off? Then you know how I felt. Please also use your imaginations to picture a cute little hiney stained green. Yes, my daughter has a green arse. I know there’s a joke in there somewhere but I just can’t find it. Yep, another Mommy Milestone crossed and another Mommy Milestone that really didn’t need to be turned over. Please, please, please daughter!! Learn to use the potty before you start shitting rainbows! I don’t think I could handle that.

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Help! I Need Blogging Advise And/Or A Maid!

*Note: Please forgive me for the outdated appearance of my page.  I’m a mom.*

“Oh wow!  Hi keyboard!  Has it really been well over a month since the last time we met?   Yikes?  Do I still have readers?  Does anyone still care if I’m here?  Does it matter?  Ohhhh woes is me… the guilt of not posting….   Wait a minute!!  Who is the blog for anyway?  I write for me!  Don’t I?”

This is what I’m thinking as I open up my lap top.  Sometimes I think the invention of all the other gadgets in my life is causing my blogging life to disappear into the realm of too much global access.  When I started Mommy’s Joy, like all new bloggers, I had the good and bold intentions of writing everyday.  And I did for the most part.  I banged out ideas and stories and posted pictures and blogged till my little heart practically ran out of words.  Then I decided it was time to slow down. Take some time for myself since it seemed like my online personality was taking center stage to my daily life, and my daily life was constantly on hold.  And that’s not a lifestyle that can continue.  Especially with a two year old who has her own opinions about who’s time belongs to who and a husband who insists on wearing clean underwear. “No honey, I didn’t get the laundry done today.  But I did finally finish what I think will be the blog post of the century.  Wanna read it? No? Why not?  Because you’re lost in the sea of dust bunnies floating around the house?”   “EJ!!  Where are you child?  Oh! There you are!  Sorry, I lost you for a minute.  I guess its easy to do when you’re covered in so much dog hair from the couch.  You blend.”

And when you add in the all access inventions of the Iphone and the Ipad which should make blogging easier for most, I found myself lost in all the abilities afforded to me.   When the WordPress app came out the for the Iphone I thought that my days of hiding behind my computer and not getting a thing done were over with. I even posted about it.  I was so proud thinking that I would be able to finally post more since I could do it on the go!  So now where ever I went I could share it with you bing, bang, boom!  And I did.  More than you ever knew, I did.  I started so may new posts and exploited all the in car riding (while hubby drove of course. I promise I never wrote while driving.  Only in my head and I’ll get to that next.), standing in line, waiting at doctors offices, waiting here and there.  Daily life had now met my blogging life head on.  And then thats when daily life thumbed its nose at technology and took over.  Suddenly the periods of time I had to use were just not as long as I needed to actually FINISH a post.  And by the time I got home or to somewhere else where I had a few minutes to write, I was already mentally bogged down with so many other things I just couldn’t find the words.  So many of those posts went unfinished.

Another of my sad blogging woes is how many posts I write in my head.  I could have written the great American novel by now with all the creative thoughts that run through my head while I’m giving my daughter a bath, battling dirty socks into the washer, or changing poopy diapers.  But sadly, by the time I get time to sit down and put all those amazing thoughts into typed word the words have disappeared or have been forgotten.

So what do I do?  I’ve tried to set aside time everyday to sit down with my computer and write.  Write something.  Anything.  But I am not a creature of habit like most. If I say 9:00 will be my blogging time everyday, and that doesn’t happen everyday like clockwork, then I find myself drifting off to other endeavors.  Its also doesn’t help that I have a husband who’s schedule jumps all over the calendar and the clock randomly, so he may just decide he want’s to go do something during my precious blogging time.   So I blame it on him too.  Because I can. So there…

I know by now you all are pretty tired of hearing me whine and bitch about time and having none of it.  Most of you are all parents so I know you’re only rolling you eyes at me thinking buck up sista’.  It only gets worse from here.  So you tell me.  What do I do?  How do I find more time in my day? I only have one child right now. One very active, crazy, opinionated child.  But only one.   I can’t even imagine what it will be like when I have more kids.  So that’s what I want to know.  How in the world do you, parents of multiple children, keep on the blogging train?

And just so you know I’m not full of baloney about a crazy two year old here’s evidence.

Yes, she's sitting in her toy bucket. Yes, she's eating...in her toy bucket. Yes, she's scowling at me because I'm taking a picture of her eating in her toy bucket.

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