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Diets Suck- There, I Said It!

This just in at the Mommy’s Joy castle. We are going on a diet! Yippee freaking skippy! Those who’ve known me since I was a pip squeak have always known me to fluctuate back and forth between a regular good old American diet of steak and potatoes to an annoying habit (to my meat eating family that is) of being a vegetarian. Or my version of the vegetarian. By the way, before the question arrises, my tip toeing into vegetarianism has not been out of principal but more from a random aversion to meat. I wouldn’t even call it full on vegetarian since I would still eat things that may have a meat base. Oh, and I’ve never given up bacon, because its BACON!!! Can’t give up that or I’d lose my sister card. (I come from a long line of Baconaters.) And of course with this fluctuation of diets I’ve also had a fluctuation of too skinny for my frame and just a little too much in the trunk. Ah yes. Those were the days. I remember looking at my size 4 jeans (the smallest I could ever squeeze my “not meant for size 4 hips into), while I was currently in a meat eating phase and wearing a size 9, and feeling fat and blobish. Sigh. I miss those days…..

Why you ask? Why would I miss the days of regretting my size 9 jeans? Because since that time in my life I’ve had two husbands, a baby, and a mortgage. And thats a lot of yo yo’s for a woman’s body to deal with. I now find myself at a comfortable size ** (Like I would tell the world that number! Again, proud card holder in the sisterhood!) and I’m rather happy with myself. Sure I’ve got junk in the trunk, but I’ve earned it! And I’ve got the baby hips to prove it. I’m as healthy as an ox, I still play tennis all the time, and am considered one of the fasted on the court amongst my teammates. I’m not gaining weight, nor losing it, but not trying to lose it either. I’m also looking forward to having another baby and the idea of dieting and trying to slim down, only to pack it back on to feed another succubus, is not an enticing one.

So why am I dieting you ask? Because I have to. Or more like WE have to. Let me be more specific. Because my husband has to diet, I have to diet. YAY fun for me! That’s one of the things they don’t warn you about in the Till Death Do You Part Handbook. Just like how they don’t warn you about walking into the bathroom behind your husband or the man cold. You just have to learn to read the signs and learn to adapt. They don’t tell you that when your husband has to start eating better you will be forced to leave the things out of your diet you like just for the sake of his. Even when those bad things he loves to eat on a regular daily basis, but are not something I eat very often however do enjoy on occasion, have to be cut. He has the sweet tooth in the family. Me? Not so much. But now when I get the hankering for brownies or cookies I can’t just whip up a batch and delve into the happy chocolaty world of indulgence because he might be “forced to eat one” (his words). And that just stinks!

So what do you do when your loved one has to change the way he/she eats? How do you support that endeavor and still be able to enjoy things that you love? Is it selfish to even say that? I know it will only benefit me to eat better. Of course it would. I’m not crazy enough to think that I don’t have to watch what I eat, but we are talking some simple staple items here that I may have to give up? Like white rice!!! I like white rice. I know I can live without it in my weekly meal plan, if that was the only thing that needed to change. But when you start adding together all the things that need to change or be cut then it can be considered a lot. And a lot is no fun at all.

I’ve always found the will power to lose a few pounds when I’ve been unhappy with myself. But how do you find the will to change when you’re actually happy with your body the way it is? That’s the tough one. I would go to the moon and back for my husband and my child, and I will attack this problem with gusto for the sake of my family. I am not selfish and would eat cardboard for every meal if I had to for them. But if I have to do this I will be demanding a little payback in return. Hmmm. But what? When I figure it out I’ll let you know. But for now that doesn’t mean I won’t complain about it to you a little bit. And sneak cookies now and then. And cake.

Damn it!

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