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There’s Money In My Pot!

Either our potty has magical powers and is about to make us rich or I have survived another mommy milestone.

After taking my daughter to the potty for what seemed like the umpteenth time today I noticed a little spec of what appeared to be a foreign object in the potty.  Not that I really want to pay that close attention to whats in a potty on a normal basis but, since we are currently up to our eyeballs in potty training, I get excited about dark objects* shadowing the pale porcelain.  Just as I was gearing up to do a potty dance for my daughter I did an all stop chin drop.  To my dismay it was not a natural biological remnant* but….Money! A dime to be more precise.

WTFreak is THAT doing in there?!?

After taking a deep breath, since I knew at that point it was safe to do so without the aid of a haz-mat suit I allowed myself a brief moment of cataloguing all the ways money could end up in my potty.  I’ll even admit to a moment of delusional day dreaming where I imagined that our house was built on a hidden bounty of dimes, nickels, and quarters and they decided to find the quickest way to the earths surface by swelling out of my potty making me rich beyond my wildest dreams. I even pictured an image of taking this particular porcelain font of legal tender with me and installing it into a bathroom the size of my current house, since that’s the treatment it would deserve after flowing forth with its bounty.

But then I looked at my daughter and watched all my wild dreams of swimming in dimes flush right down the pot. Because I knew, standing in front of me, wearing her halo held up by horns, was the culprit. Now the question at hand is how? And let’s also not forget about when? Did she, in a moment of shear glee decide to see what would happen if she tossed it in there??  Did she stick her hand in with it???  Did she then touch anything else????  Did she touch the counters, the chairs, the couch, the tables, the…..????? Did she touch me???????

Gasp!  Urp!  ARRRRRGGGGG!

Did she at least make a wish first?

Another deep breath taken as I gather my wits which were swishing around me like a swirly**.

I’m fairly certain she didn’t produce the coin, ummm, naturally*. She’s never been one for sticking things in her mouth. So I’m thinking that’s one subject I can stop worrying about. Well, at least I’d like to believe it wouldn’t happen. I guess I’ll find out in the next few days if she starts spiting out change for a dollar.

So. Um. Ya. Chalk it up to another mommy milestone as I use our bar-b-cue tongs to fish out the offending change.  All the while EJ, sweet little girl that she is, is laughing her halo right off her pretty head.

Twerp.

Ps.  Please note the below “dictionary of terms”. I realize that most of you were not born in a barn like I was so you may need a guide to decipher some of the more colorful terms I used.

* In other words… Poop!

** The evil act of one arsehole adolescent sticking the head of another arsehole adolescent in the toilet and flushing.

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