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Who’s Big Fat Opinion Is It Anyway?

I’m irritated.  And I need some comment love from all of you for my friend to read and feel support from. Yes, I’m begging for comments on this one peeps.  Read on to see why.  Thanks!

I have a very dear friend who’s actions seem to be in question by everyone, except for herself.  And me, of course. I support her decision because I’m her friend.  See!  How hard was that people??? To support without forcing opinions down someone else’s throat?  I have an opinion too.  Of course I do.  I’m human.  I think, believe it or not.  But my place is not to judge one way or the other.  That’s why my opinion will forever stay mine with me only saying it’s her body her choice.  I will never keep it secret that I am a staunch supporter of a woman’s choice. But lets not forget that in that choice she may very well choose to keep her child.  And it’s amazing how many would eventually frown on her for choosing that! So ya! I’m irritated!

My dear friend just had her 4th baby. Count em’ up ya’ll! 1-2-3-4! Not a miraculous number to many of you in the mommy blogging world.  I know many of you sought out to have 4 or even more kids by choice. So why is it that my friend is getting so much heat for choosing to have this baby?  This kid is a freaking miracle on her own!  Shall I explain? Of course I shall… My friend, after having her second son, was told that she had a medical condition that made it impossible to have any more children.  And after 11 years, many many opportunities, and one divorce she found a man that for some reason had the magic touch and BOOM! We have miracle baby number one.  Lets call her “Slim” (A nickname lovingly given to her by the grandfather, a man who’s positive opinion isn’t being allowed because it doesn’t trend towards the other negatives in the family).  “Slim” because her chances of being were slim to none.  However, I prefer my nickname for the baby, “Super Pudge”, because the pudge on her legs is so amazing and kissable! Nom, nom, nom!  A’hem! Sorry ’bout that. When my friend found out she was pregnant after all these years it was a blessing to her.  She is a wonderful mom. Supermom as far as I’m concerned and this baby was simply a miracle.  So who can blame her really for choosing to have her? Oh plenty of people thats for sure.  You see, she wasn’t married to the baby’s father, nor have they decided they want to go down that road yet. Their relationship is still rather new, even though they dated as teenagers and have known each other forever, they need time to define themselves first before hitting the alter.  Makes sense to me.  You need to be ready to get married to stay married I say.  So she got loads of unwelcome opinions for her choice as you can imagine, but the last time I checked miracles weren’t on a check off list that you could just choose your options for.

After “Slim” wiggled her way into this world my friend was told that the baby was a fluke and that, again, her chances of being able to conceive where almost impossible.  That brings us to baby number 4.  “Fluke”. (Another nickname lovingly given.)  And again I have given her my own nickname “Mickey” who will probably be given Mickey Mouse paraphernalia at every birthday from her aunty Joy.  With this baby my friend got even more crap from the peanut gallery.  She got it from her boyfriends parents, her own parents, some other friends, doctors, nurses.  Just about anyone she chose to tell her story to.  Why is it so crazy that she is having another baby ya’ll?  It’s not like she’s creating her own TV show with her kids.  She has two older children, and two younger. And holy cow ya’ll!  Hold the phone! The two youngest are Irish Twins too!  If “Slim” and “Fluke” were not meant to be then why would they share a birthday and such an amazing story of even being possible?

Ya, that’s irritating isn’t it?  But to make matter worse, when she was in the hospital this time she was asked over and over and over if she was getting her tubes tied.  Who knows how many times she was asked this over the entire time of her pregnancy?  While I was sitting there with her before her C-section (I got to play photographer! SQUEE!) she had 3 people ask her the same question.  Then come to find out, from a really great nurse who caught the error, that someone put it in the computer that my friend was getting fixed!!! Can you believe that?!? A hospital error? No shocker there!  But on this particular subject? Come on!  I’m not only seeing red but a good reason for a law suit.  They’re lucky my friend has a choice in that matter too and would rather drop the idea then pursue it.

And now, to top it all off, today I had to listen to her boyfriends mother  spout off about how she waited forever for her son to give her a grandchild but she was disappointed that they gave her two.  Can you believe that?!  A grandmother being disappointed with having a second grandchild?  It’s not like she has 8! She has two! And this woman had the audacity to almost voice her opinions on MY choices too!  While I was holding the cutest little doll baby “Fluke” I told my friend that her adorableness was making my uterus hurt.  Which led to me telling another friend that was there that my husband and I are planning to have another someday.  This woman butts into the conversation to say “You’re going to have another?” with a look on her face like I just ran over her dog.  Like it would effect her somehow?  You would be so proud of me internet friends, I stayed calm, and explained that my daughter who was running around was our only one and yes we would like to have another.  That’s all I said.  All I could say without turning into Medusa on her nosy butt.

Yep! Irritating! I’m not sure how my friend really does it on a daily basis but I’m sure it has something to do with looking into the faces of her miracle children to know that they were the right choice.

So I’m posing a question to the mommy’s and non-mommies with thoughts on this subject.  Is it the family and the healthcare workers right to have an opinion about my friend getting her tubes tied or about how many children she should have?  Can you see now why I’m asking you to leave a comment?  Lets hear those thoughts and if you just want to leave a message of support for my friend to let her know that there are others out there that think she’s not crazy she will be reading this and she can use all the support she can get.  Thanks!

*Note: She has chosen a form of birth control now that the happy couple has realized that Mother Nature had different plans for them.  But not a permanent solution, as is her right.

**Another note:  Please keep all Pro-life/choice comments to yourself. While my opinion is noted in this entry this is not the subject at hand.  I still happily welcome your comments, and of course you are very welcomed to say you’re happy she made that choice, all other comments leaning towards propaganda will be edited if necessary.

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