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“Back Demon Hormones! BACK!”

Today’s an exciting day for me, although I don’t want to outshine the excitement that my friend is about to feel.  She’s about to have her baby today.  *YEAH* And I get to take all the hospital baby pictures. *WHOOT* Or at least the ones that they will let me take.  The worst part, besides the ouch, of a planned c-section is that they won’t let in just anyone to take pictures of the blessed event.  Something about liability I’m assuming. You know, they wouldn’t want you to catch a picture of a doctor or nurse picking their nose right before they dig in.  Or maybe its just the amount of germs that can live on my… camera?  But the best part of planned c-sections is the planned part.  We have  been talking about this day for 9 months now.  And it’s been on my calendar, and my husbands for just as long.  Why my husbands you may ask.  Oh, come on, you know you want to ask.  ???  Ok, it’s because he’s taking EJ for the day so I can spend some quality time at the hospital wandering around the maternity ward.  Staring at cute new babies through the windows and sniffing my friends new baby too. *SQUEEE!*

Funny, the only thing I’m nervous about today, besides my friend going through a major surgery of course (did you think I was that uncaring) is that I’m hoping all the new baby smell doesn’t wear off on me and jump start my hormones.  Cuz you know it can do that.  One sniff of a new babies bald head and suddenly you find yourself 70 pounds heavier, well I do at least, eating grapes like they are your life blood, and praying the blessed event could hurry up so you can pee normally again.  And then there is this…  Cute, adorable, little sweet smelling babies turn into TODDLERS!  The little hell beasts that were put into our care by Mother Nature who apparently has a very dry sense of humor.  These things move so fast and can leave a wake of destruction behind so quickly that you start wondering if it might be better to just leave everything they tossed around all in its place on the floor. It’s going to end up there anyways.  And the NOISES these creatures can make!!! Ever heard a pissed off banshie mixed with a howling hound dog?  Anything can and will set them off and once they start you’d better have their favorite foods/books/blankies ready or your in for a concert of screaming that will leave you praying for earplugs and a really large glass of wine.  A beautiful glass of shear relaxation bliss… that you won’t be able to drink because they are moving too fast for you to catch them.  And if you do happen to snag one on the run they turn to Jello in your arms and slither away continuing to leave a path of destruction behind that an F5 tornado would be proud of.   AND… Deep breath in, deep breath out… Yep, that’s what I need to keep remember as I feel the maternal rush today.  “Back demon hormones! BACK!”

That’s what I’m doing today.  How about you?

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