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News Flash! Peanut Butter Is Sticky!

Peanut butter is sticky.  I know this isn’t much of an epiphany but it is a lesson I learned up close and personally yesterday.  Lets just called this another Mommy Milestone shall we?

I’ve been having one of those time periods in life where you can never seem to catch up and yesterday the rush, rush, rush, finally came to a screeching halt with a very humorous high note.  Imagine one well endowed mommy.

(No, not for those reasons! Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Now imagine that well endowed mommy wearing a scooped neck shirt that showed quite a bit of cleavage.

(I’m telling ya, get your mind out of that gutter! This is you last warning!)

As other well endowed mommies will tell you, with the right equipment one can create quite a shelf out of ones assets.

(That’s it! I told you to get your mind out of the gutter and now you’re going to force me to come over and beat you with my rather large mommy bra filled with rocks! AHEM! Sorry about that!  Hubby was reading this as I was writing.  Old codger!)

Anyways…. Also, picture one very bizzy mommy rushing around trying to get herself and her child out the door.  This is where I need to stop and address why my daughter is still running around with a peanut butter sandwich in her hands.  At lunch she refused to eat the yummy meal that I made her and managed to swipe the last 1/4 of the piece of bread I had with peanut butter and peach jam off my plate as I was taking her from her high chair.  And just try to get that out of her hands.  Ya right!  After she went “yum” and ran off I made the quick mommy decision that a screaming, P.O’ed, baby wasn’t worth the peanut butter smudges all over the house that the dogs would conveniently clean up for me.

Little did I think about the “gotta leave” factor and the fact that it would take her an hour to eat this 1/4 piece of sticky goo.  So I did what all mommies do in this case.  I sighed a huge sigh and gave in.  Scooped her up, along with the diaper bag, keys, her sippy cup, and all the other essentials… and her peanut butter trophy.  As I was then making my way out the door she made the decision that she wanted her sippy cup instead but to score this she would have to put her gooey mess down somewhere.  Hmm, where to put it??? Where? To? Put?  It? I KNOW!  This is when she carefully, I know you all have seen this careful placement of objects by a 1 year old, on my human table, ok my chestacle area.  She gave it a good smash to make sure it would stick and went for the sippy.

There I stood.  Loaded down with stuff and baby, mouth gapping open, with a 1/4 piece of sticky, gooey, peanut butter and peach jam bread stuck to my chest.  And it stayed there!  Stuck like your favorite piece of bubble gum that you’re saving for later. And yes I left it there till I was able to get her and all her stuff into the car lest she run off and find some super glue to use to her amusement on mommy.

Moral of the story, peanut butter is sticky, and will still taste good when peeled off ones chest area.  Hay! She stole my lunch!  I got it back!  I win!

Don’t forget to enter to win your very own bottle of Smelly Washer!  Ends 9/18!!!

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