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My Dearest EJ,

You are now a year old.  Wow! It feels like it was only last week that I spent 22 hours in labor with you.  It feels like only last week I told your Daddy that I was pregnant…I think. It feels like only last week it took 5 pregnancy tests to convince me it was true.  You were on your way.  It feels like it was only last week that you were kicking my kidneys like they were bongo drums.  It feels like it was only last week that you caused my blood pressure to go up so high the doctors thought my veins would explode, or at least it felt that way.  It feels like it was only last week that I was so nervous about your arrival that I could barely speak. It feels like it was only last week when I learned how to be your mom.  And now it’s been an entire year.

A year of watching you grow in so many ways.  A year of watching you eat yourself taller and stronger. A year of wondering how a little creature could eat so danged much? A year of wondering how you can be a year old, eat the way you do, and still fit into some 0-3 month articles of clothing?  A year of wishing I had your metabolism.  You are my lovely little skinny minny.  A year of watching how head strong you are and how you always seem to decide when you are ready to do something.  A year of watching how fast you could become Tornado Baby and destroy a basket of laundry.  A year of watching and being surprised when you just stood up and walked or went up an entire flight of steps like you’ve been doing it forever.  A year of watching you fear nothing and a year of me fearing everything.

You are definitely stubborn and determined to do things at your own pace.  In this past year you learned how sit up on your own, at 5 months old, because you got tired of mom and dad always hovering over you.  That was the first sign we had of how much of an independent young lady you are and will become.  In this past year you learned to crawl, at 8 months old, because you got tired of sitting in one place.  (I believe you were wanting to see where the dogs and Daddy went when they left the room.) And then two months later, in this past year at 10 months old, you decided to start walking because you could get where you wanted to faster.  (Usually that involved chasing the dogs or your Daddy)  In this past year, two days ago, 11 months and 28 days old, you decided to go up the stair case just because you were done being a baby and you were ready to become a toddler. A year of watching your personality blossom into an independent happy little girl.

Oh my!  Mommy’s going to cry now!  You’re a toddler!  Where did my little teeny weenie sugar plum honey butt go?  Now you’re a toddler going on teenager, hell bent on eating me out of house and home while I tell you to eat your green beans.  Now you’re a toddler who will find her words in the next year and will tell me endless stories about this and that and the other. Now you’re a toddler who will soon start running at full speed racing the wind and dogs while I beg you to watch where you’re going.  Now you’re a toddler who will find her inner daredevil while I stand by to kiss your boo boos.  While scared of all these things I also look forward to the next year and being the Mommy of a toddler.

With all the future we face together I know I will always be able to be proud of you and you’re blooming personality.  Even when you mess up and take your bumps in life I will always find pride in you and be able to remind you about having pride in yourself. Right now you’re a baby growing into a toddler who still shines full faced smiles as you dive towards me with arms and eyes open wide expecting me to catch you, because you know I always will.  But one day you will be a woman with the world at your fingertips.  And one day you will be a Mommy too and will know exactly how much I love you.

Love, Mommy

May 22, 2008

She came into the world ready to own it….

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And now she does.

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