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Ribbon and Bows… and Paper Cuts.

Let me begin this post with a clear cut point.  I still like Christmas and all it stands for. And I still like presents, giving and receiving.  I’m just currently hating wrapping them.  And yes my friends, hate is not too strong of a word tonight.  Matter of fact, it might just be a kind way to put how much this practice of disguising presents is a torture created by some idiot who thought it would be fun to make someone work for their gift.  Now here we are in modern times with paper cuts and aching backs, slaving over rolls and rolls of wrapping paper and ribbon, packaging up gifts just so someone can come along and rip all your hard work to shreds.  That or they will drive you nuts trying to “save the paper”.  Here let me make it easy for you next time.  I’ll just hand you your unwrapped gift and the roll of paper.  You can and even have the ribbon and tape.  You can stick it wherever you want.  May I suggest where the sun don’t shine?

Ya, I’m a little irritable tonight.  I’ve just spent the last 8 hours in my own personal hell named “Curly Ribbonville”.  This is the world where your work table gets so covered up with little bits and pieces of ribbons and bows that you start to use them as decoration.  Lets just tape a few pieces here and a few there! Voilá, Christmas confetti!  This is also the world of tape stuck to every arm hair and the glitter from the few gift bags I use each year stuck to EVERYTHING including my daughter who happened to do a drive by in daddy’s arms at one point.  This glitter is the REALLY sticky kind that you can’t scrub off with a wire brush.  You just have to wait till it bio-degrades, IF glitter ever bio-degrades.  Man, I hope it does.  It’s stuck in the grooves of my coffee table.  Looks fine for Christmas.  All sparkly and bright.  Might not go over too well the rest of the year.  Then it will just look like an art project gone bad.  

While I’m still describing the landscape of “Curly Ribbonville” let me also describe the frustration involved when you are ready to wrap a box and realize that you didn’t cut the paper big enough.  Then you try to piece it together with small pieces of more paper leaving that tell tale square with extra tape on the side of your package.  You can’t bother to just cut a new piece.  That would be wasteful and we don’t like to waste paper do we?  I mean all those extra pieces of paper you cut off the edges of a package so it will tape down just perfectly isn’t wasteful.  It’s practical.  I’ll use less tape that way.  What’s also fun is when you cut pieces of curling ribbon just to the length you want it and when you curl it up it decides to do a disappearing act just like it got dipped in a cold ice bath.   What’s up with that?  But then you plan for extra ribbon next time to make sure you don’t have the same shrinkage problem and that’s when it won’t curl at all.  It will rip, it will shred, but curl it will not.  

That’s my day folks.  I think next year I’m going to use plastic shopping bags and a roll of duct tape.

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