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My pondering for this evening is:  How is it possible to simply hang out with my daughter and be so exhausted by it?  By hang out I mean sitting on the couch while she plays on the floor.  Sitting on the couch while she sits next to me playing with a toy.  Sitting on the couch while tickling her and making stupid faces at her.  And of course the occasional trip to the changing table.  And by exhausted I mean I feel like I could fall asleep in my closet if I just leaned into the hanging clothes but instead I find myself in a fight with my nightgown for the right to put my arms in the sleeves.  Battle won but not before some cussing and a suggestion from Dear Hubby that I didn’t need to wear it.  I’m wearing it…nuff said.

Before I got that twinkle in my eye that was my dear little EJ I could go and go and go and never feel this tired. I would wake up at the butt crack of dawn, hit the courts and play a 3 hour match, come home and mow the lawn. Then I’d shower and go shopping for a couple hours or do any number of other things that required my energy.  I was like the energizer bunny.  Now I’m like the energizer bunny with corroded batteries.  I understand that pregnancy can take its toll on a woman’s body but I feel like I’m back to being myself physically.  I can run around a tennis court even better than I did before I was pregnant.  I even have the stamina for a three hour match.  What I don’t have the stamina for is this little human.  She’s an energy sucker.  I think it’s because even if I’m comfortable on the couch I still have to be “on”.  Always responsible.  Always watching for the evil gremlin that will sneak up and tip my newly sitting up right daughter over and make her smack her head on the floor creating a whole flood of screams and tears.  Always ready to jump.  I truly believe it’s the waiting for something to happen that is so exhausting.  

So here I sit, pooped and ready to sleep for a week.  Or at least until she decides to babble to herself in a couple hours and wake me up and make me listen for more evil gremlins.  


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