To the dear Mr. Hootie Owl who has decided to sit outside my bedroom window and make your haunting hooting sounds all night long, your waking me up and I really deserve my sleep.  I did my time with pregnancy insomnia where I was so mammoth it took a crane to roll over while my sweet angel poked my ribs all night because she thought it was funny.  I’ve done my time with the same crying, hungry, poopy diapered little girl that couldn’t sleep longer than two hours at a time. It might sound selfish but it’s my turn to rest at night.  Can you please move on and make your way over to my crazy neighbor lady’s window instead of mine?  Let my neighbor listen to your haunting melodies.  She’s awake at night anyways and maybe you can keep her company.  I really need my sleep. I’m afraid, my beautiful little hootie owl, that if you don’t move on to another window I might have to resort to letting my attack cat eat you.  She’s been itching for a good hunt lately and your just about her favorite sized meal.  So dear Mr. Hootie Owl, as you can see I’m desperate.  And desperate, sleep deprived women can do really bad things.  Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Sincerely,    Mommy